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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Ah Ted, this is great. So lean … and yet there are little details, the coffee cup and the way you fold back the top, the streets you pass. But not all the details: you tell us you like the car, but not what kind of car it is. Yeah, I’m a car nut; I wondered. But I can fill it in myself.

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Ted Leonhardt's avatar

Merkur, Xr4ti, loved it. Solid white with a double-wale tale.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Oh wow, that’s a rare one! It’d be a collector now.

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

I just realized that a recent Car & Driver had a back page feature on that car. Did you see that? I’ll snap a pic and send it to you if you didn’t.

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Ted Leonhardt's avatar

I’d love to see it! Thanks

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Doreen Frances's avatar

I'm in that car with you in the early morning, with the rain. The bizarre contrast of your naked father and your mother's confession of laundering his clothes compounds its eeriness. The thought that ran through my mind was "people act in strange ways when someone has died." Your thoughts about the note your father wrote, all of which occurred during the car ride over, reminded me that after someone passes, there is no going back to change how we acted in the past.

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Ted Leonhardt's avatar

Thank you, Doreen. Yep, we can't change the past. But we can learn from it. And in my experience, the things that've caused me the most intense feelings are the ones from which I've learned the most. I note that your posts are all about feelings that stick. You get it!

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Arianna's avatar

I’m sorry you went through that. It must have been hard to have a tragedy like that happen and have to pretend things were more or less normal. Thank you for sharing.

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Ted Leonhardt's avatar

Thanks, Arianna, and you nailed it. It was normal. Normal always was pretend in our family. Normal was not talking about why we didn't talk about anything emotionally demanding. And why it took me years to understand how important it is to just talk about stuff that hurts.

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Mark Monlux's avatar

That had to be hard to write about. Events like this seem to be like turning on a light in a room, revealing emotions skittering into the shadows like cockroaches. What do you make of the situation? Plans, goals, and outcomes seem unpredictable.

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Ted Leonhardt's avatar

Yes, hard. Thought about writing it for years. Finally got there. Thanks, Mark

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